Have you ever found yourself doubting what you always thought was true? Have you ever questioned your faith? I have. I heard it once said to “lead through your weaknesses” so that your humanity will show. My weakness is my mind and the thoughts that I let invade. God’s been teaching me through His word about doubt and faith. I grew up going to church, became a Christian at the age of four, attended a Christian school, had a pastor for a dad, a missionary for a grandmother…etc (you get the picture). I was imbedded in my faith. I loved that about my childhood. But, as an adult I’ve found my own relationship with Jesus outside of my family and “upbringing”. I had to discover Him for myself. I did. However, over the course of my adulthood, I’ve had bouts of doubt. Doubt in everything. I would let my mind run away with thoughts about my purpose on the earth and the reality of Jesus. While worshipping and praising Him with song at the begging of a church service my thoughts would shift from Jesus’ face to “wow, I look to ridiculous, raising my hands to an invisible ‘God’.” At that moment, I would stop and repent. Making know to God my doubt, my hesitation, my weaknesses. The funny thing is, no one would’ve ever known this about me. I never talked about it with anyone, never let it show in my actions, never spoke it out loud in a private prayer. It was a hidden hiccup, a hidden doubt. I felt so ashamed. How could I doubt Jesus and His love for me. Then I’m reminded of doubting Thomas in the Bible. Thomas was a disciple who couldn’t just believe that Jesus had risen from the grave, he had to see it for himself. But, that’s not faith. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1I was letting my focus slip away from Jesus and drift towards doubt. I needed a serious intervention from God. So, I dove into His word. I will be talking more about doubt in upcoming posts. God’s working this out through me and by His grace I’m conquering doubt by building my faith. Faith is an action. Faith is a choice. Act.
I choose to believe in Jesus. I choose to trust in Him. I’m dropping my doubt and picking up my Bible. I’m acting to believe.
Read more about how to lead through your weaknesses here.